Heidi on Vashon

Brion Evan Fowler 5/7/70-10/11/24 Brion passed away on Oct. 11. We will never be the same, but will hold him closely in our memories. Our family is managing and honoring the grief that floods over us in waves.  I want to thank everyone who expressed their condolences and brought us comfort through each contact. We felt constantly surrounded in love, just as we surrounded Brion in love in his final weeks.  Kristofer, our baby brother, had asked Brion about his favorite songs and music during B's hospital stay. Brion replied the Smiths, adding "What difference does it make?" Kris had a total "Who's on first" moment and started explaining that it's because he wanted to pull up playlists for ambience. Brion said, "No--that is a SONG by The Smiths!" They had a good laugh.  I'll always remember that even while hospitalized Brion still had his sense of humor. Like when he gently peeled back the covers over his chest to reveal his bony fingers and ...

We have a family curse not unfamiliar to millions of Americans: alcoholism. Especially for the males on both sides of my family, the drink has really challenged the men. My maternal uncles came through it using the 12-step program. My father quit at age 76, cold turkey, after a cascade of serious health problems delivered the final ultimatum: quit or die soon. One aunt by marriage somewhat recently had and survived a liver transplant—which is fantastic. But my brother, Brion, is on a different and heartbreaking journey.  As I write this, I’m at home in the PNW while my mom is at Brion’s bedside in a San Diego hospital based (inpatient) hospice. Things are so fragile. Time is short. I’m still processing what I’ve witnessed in the last few months and the progression to this present-day byproduct of alcoholism: hepatorenal syndrome (HRS) at end-stage liver disease from alcohol-related cirrhosis. Our family members got a crash course in all the processes, medications, terminology, trea...

There's that expression "the only things certain in life are death and taxes." I'd like to add AGING. The only things certain in life are death, taxes and aging. Now, into my 55th year, I have met the medical threshold for menopause. Friggin finally! Groveling to my doctor for HRT has been a two year beg fest, and after the latest round of labs there is no argument that I'm fresh outta estrogen. So bring it! Adding to my fine lineup of care experts we now have pulmonologist in addition to endocrinologist and neurologist.  All last year (2023) I kept getting knocked down with respiratory illnesses--for weeks at a time basically every other month. I spent a lot of time in the guest basement bedroom hacking goobers and coughing to exhaustion. I lost work. I lost weight. I lost a lot of confidence in my swimming despite a Catalina relay in Aug 2023 and marathon swim plan for Oct 2023.  The Oct Pt. Loma to Ocean Beach tandem swim (The PLOB!) with Becky proved successfu...